How To Make A Friend Fall In Love With You

Do a quick search for "how to fall in love" on the internet, and you'll find thousands of articles chock-full of advice. There are tips for where to look, how to flirt, and what to wear. There are tricks on how to text and ways to be irresistible to the object of your affection. But, to be blunt, those articles won't get you anywhere when it comes to finding love. The truth of the matter is that there is no road map to falling in love. Annoying, we know.

Part of that is because falling in love typically has very little to do with another person and more to do, of course, with you. "I talk a lot about radiating love from the inside out," Nicole Ward, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Woman's Day. "Falling in love is all about being in touch with who you are and being gentle with yourself." It's easy to forget that love looks and feels different at different stages of your life, according to Ward. So what worked for you in your teen years may not work for you in your 30s — and that's OK.

The good thing about getting in touch with yourself is that it doesn't just open you up to love from another person. It opens you up to self-love, too. And someone who accepts themselves for who they are is someone who is open to accepting love into their own lives, according to Ward.

But if you need some help digging deep, here are Wards tips for checking in with yourself so that you're ready to receive love.

Figure Out Who You Are As A Partner

"A lot of the emphasis can be [put] on who you want your partner to be," Ward says. "But you should also be asking yourself what kind of partner you want to be, because that will help you envision your perfect partner more clearly." This can be as big or as small as you'd like. If, for example, you love to travel (or you're feeling more open to traveling) and want your partner to come along, then your next partner should definitely be someone who has an up-to-date passport. If you're someone who wants to spend time with your family, then you should prioritize a partner who is also family-oriented.

When looking for someone, find someone who will compliment you — not complete you.

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Ward says that the best way to work some of these things out is to journal. "It helps you check in, and to also see how your feelings evolve over time," she says.

Look To The Things That Help You Cultivate Joy

One thing a lot of people get wrong in their hunt for love is that they look for a partner who can erase all of their issues and take care of them. But, according to Ward, it's important to figure out how to make yourself happy first. "Think about things you like doing to cultivate joy in your life and love for yourself," she says.

Being able to do things that make you happy on your own is important. It shows that you're not relying on a partner to make you happy, which can be the kiss of death in a relationship. "It gives you an emotional awareness," Ward says. "That's an important foundation for a relationship."

Stop Looking For Wholeness Outside Of Yourself

The whole idea of two people completing one another? Total hogwash, according to Ward.

"You want to be whole and find another whole person and come together as a super duo — or trio, or quad," she says.

Looking for wholeness in another person means that you're entering a relationship at a loss, which is not how you want things to kick off. "If you've found all of yourself in that person, it will feel much deeper than it needs to if the situation doesn't work out," Ward says. But she is quick to point out that there is a difference between feeling complete and feeling at home with a partner.

"If you feel comfortable, and like that person fits into your life, that's great," she says. "But you've got to remember that you're a full person with or without this person — no matter how much you may love them."

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Source: https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a29209839/how-to-fall-in-love/

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How To Make A Friend Fall In Love With You